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Twisted Firaun

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Posts posted by Twisted Firaun

  1. 4 hours ago, Kaleb Daark said:

    Ok Curry...

    tell us what you know, and what happens to the Eye of Ed Sheeran?

    Does kitbash Nagash's bitsbox army get it as a prize and Arky and his pals have to slum it in a travel lodge instead of the 5* eight points which will have a new  entrance gate the shape of Nagash's big hat?

     

    Or alternatively perhaps there's a stale mate and Arky gets really upset when (because he can't win and it's not like he's going to grow old) Currykos decides, without planning permission to rise up BonePoints - a massive fortress on the other side of the road to Eightpoints and block Arky's nice view.

    Bonepoints will be available to buy in modular form as per the Chaos dreadhold and was cheekily teased in the BoneReapers pre-release introduction where everyone said nah it's not a thing.

    Arky will therefore have to have wars with Currykos about things like chariot parking, and walking seige engines flytipping bone everywhere and complain that the bins aren't being collected frequently enough.

    He will also be trying to work out how to take the walls down, and dream about a set of guidelines he could use to besiege his calorie deficient neighbour -

    "oh woe is me...  if only I had a chaos dwarf hell cannon"

    "in fact, if only I had the little pyromaniac loony tunes to rock up and just lay seige to the dry easily flammable pile o' bones and run through the massed ranks of silly grins with a huge comedy lava and steam driven Warhammer Acme forge tenderiser on wheels... that'll learn 'em " he will say..

     

    then just as Arky is starting to get really short of patience, his many eyed gaunt summoner pulls a cheeky curveball at him and tells him that through space and time there are mighty armoured giants called warlords and see themselves as god engines .. and if he wanted they could try opening a gate to the alternate reality and get one in for him to try out as they would be amazing in seige situation - especially as "you aint got no hell cannons any more me old world crumbling fruity"

    At this point what he doesn't realise is that Manfred von Shotmesseninderfootstein is huddled up with his new bff the greyseer gnawnugget Planskuttler and they scheme to ****** up the gaunt summoner's attempt at opening the great void by rewiring his eyeballs so he looks in all the wrong directions.

    In so doing and talking utter garbage he confuses the Eye of Ed Seeran who takes its.. er eye off the ball for a split second, giving the unlikely chuckle brothers of calamity the opprtunity to short circuit the whole plan,  and instead opens a rift through which some giants the size of imparial knights walk through thinking... "this doesn't look like the beach holiday painting that was in the Hammerhal Herald that we paid for".

     

    Bemoaning cheap package holidays they mistake the Bonepoints as an all inclusive buffet, realise its a bit rubbish as there's no meat on the bones and duly lose their sh-tuff.

    The book ends with Arky facepalming himself thinking.."here we go again", and Currykos wondering at the stupidity of the biggest giants he's ever seen trying to eat the walls of his Bonepoints because they look like a rack of ribs despite there obviously isn't any meat on  anything.

     

    Amidst all of this, nobody notices a lone peasant fleeing into the realmgate to Azyr - who is instantly (mistakenly) reforged into a prime as all anyone saw was that in the middle of all that lot he survived unscathed and was obviously a mighty warrior and warleader of legions.

     

    Am I somewhere close?

    You forgot Sigmar looking down on the whole event with jealousy because he cant’ join in on the “GLORIOUS BATTLE!” taking place due to having a boatload of chores to do(such as “keeping Azyr chaos free” and “fix my forge”) ; so he calls up his bud(dies?) Gorkamorka to see if he was down for a game of cards while watching Bloodbowl at Excelsis later, only to find out Gorkamorka had already set up the table and was trying to invite Khorne and Gotrek(in place of Grimnir) for a whole war god party. Teclis, Tyrion, and Malerion try to sneak in only to be beaten to a pulp with a “No Aelves Allowed!” sign to be hung up afterwards while they down copious amounts of Squig beer, Bloodweiser, and Bugman’s xxxxx.

    • LOVE IT! 4
  2. Archaon, not just because he’s an established character, but because he has been elevated to demigod/borderline god. On top of that Katakros has made the mistake on launching a siege where the entirety of the varanguard(Chaos lords who serve Archaon and get to ****** slap daemon princes) call home, plus whatever amount of cultists, murders, and daemon hordes are around. 

    • Like 5
  3. I’d settle for the Furnace Kings that we’re mentioned way back in the realmgate wars finally making an appearance. Why you may ask? Cause then we would have an entire army of plastic chaos Duardin instead of just one or two models from Warcry(plus it’s a sweet name).

    • Like 2
  4. 18 hours ago, PaniuBraniu said:

    The January White Dwarf contains a family picture of the upcoming Nurgle Warband:

    82804076_788206218348255_885544435922763

    These guys are perfect! I almost never use the war bands as a single unit, more as stand ins for the various units they come from. It looks like I either have two blight kings and a Nurgle sorceress, or one blight king, a lord of plague, and a Nurgle sorceress!

  5. 42 minutes ago, Qcbob025 said:

    I saw some mod about Chaos Dwarf in Total War 1,  i thought they were official race... it almost got me to buy it on Steam Sale... Then i discovered it was'nt an official one. I can't wait to see it come true on Total War 2. Where did you got that rumor? That will definetly help getting the Chaos dwarf a better visibility.

    A while back CA said they would include all the old Warhammer races in the total war trilogy, the only ones left now are ogres and chaos dwarfs(plus whatever faction they decide to expand upon/create).

  6. Hey everyone, sorry to derail this thread but I have a problem I’m hoping you could help me solve.

    I love the Legion of Azgorh but don’t have the money to get The Forgeworld stuff(plus that’s looking kinda iffy at the moment) what models do you think would work as a conversion base?

     

    any advice is appreciated.

  7. Chaos Duardin: they’ve been mentioned in the fluff since the realmgate wars but no models! I’d give them cheap fast attack unit(maybe thralls?), some more daemons of Hashut, and lean into that iron golems aesthetic(it is my personal head canon that the golems worship hashut).

    mawtribes: I’d expand upon the firebelly, maybe some tiki fire spirits or some form of volcanic monster to back him up.

    new vamp faction: honestly just give me vampirates, or barring that crank the old gothic look up to 11.

    • Like 1
  8. 2 hours ago, HorticulusTGA said:

    SO :

    - Gordrakk got a big godbeast skull mounted on a Siege Engine, heading right to the Free City of Excelsis (and then the gates of Azyr), which have lots of fortifications and Stormkeeps....

    - The Ossiarch are building Bone Fortresses everywhere (mostly in Shyish and Ghur, for the moment, but even Ghyran, according to the OBR and CoS Battletomes)....

    - Katakros take Gothizzar and invade the Eightpoints, the most heavily fortified location in all the Mortal Realms ....

    "SIEGE-CENTERED" SUPPLEMENT WHEN GW ?!?!?!?!

    If this truly comes to pass we may finally see some new fortifcation scenery, I mean the last officially released set was the dreadhold, and that didn’t sell well.

    9 minutes ago, Aginor said:

    Yeah I remember being a bit disappointed by those rules, they basically were just an additional phase before the game started and that's it.

    My buddy and I then made our own system, also very basic but more fun for us.

    Do you mind sharing brother?

    • LOVE IT! 1
  9. I came from Warhammer 40k in seventh edition. I was new to the hobby and while I enjoyed the models and lore the rules were simply too much.  I started exploring sigmar when I saw the Beastclaw raiders if I’m being honest, those beefy bois are soo much fun.

  10. On 11/4/2019 at 10:04 AM, Kirjava13 said:

    Monopose might work for some of you, but it's ridiculous to take things away from the hobbyist and expect them to pay more. There is a fine line to draw- I don't think many people advocate a return to the monkey-rats of the first multipart Skaven regiment- I will be a happy Clawlord if I never have to glue another tail on in my life. But in a horde regiment, the ability to mix and match small things like weapons and arm position makes a big difference, and in smaller, more elite regiments, monopose models become increasingly obvious. A huge part of the hobby is (or was) customisation, being able to build your guys the way you want them. For me personally, the verisimilitude of not having an army of clones is a big deal. I go to a lot of trouble to make my Stormfiends look different, and I can manage those conversions because Stormfiends are big models and cutting and changing is within the limit of my mediocre hobby abilities... but I look at my Chainrasps, and while I can appreciate the convenience of them being Easy To Build, that convenience is not so much that it overcomes the fact that I am left looking at a unit where every guy is absolutely identical to three others. I do not understand why I should pay for the privilege of having choice removed.

    Preach brother, the whole reason I got into this hobby is cause I was tired of ripping the heads off of my g I joes to put them on different bodies. I’m all for easy to build when it makes sense but it should cost less than the actual kit.

    • Like 2
  11. I don’t really have a proper STD army(mostly just models from Nurgle and Tzeentch armies that I like to pretend work together), but I’m excited. I love the Warcry models and if half of the new art/models(?) show the diversity present in the war bands then we’re in for quite a treat. Plus it’s about time chaos took the stage again.

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