What does PeaceHammer look like?

[Moldek]

Silly idea thread...

5 years after blowing up the Old World, GW take another controversial step and reforge AoS into a new kind of miniature game : in the brightness of the nine realms, there is only peace...

Hordes of civilians gather and don’t clash, resolving conflicts through bribery, seduction, economic incentives and the power of friendship!

What does your army look like in this bizarro game? how does it play?

I think I would have a force of gloomspite gitz that would center around holding objectives by staging squigpipe concerts that attract crowds of goblins, while potions and mushrooms dealers rip off the enemy with overpriced junk food and cheap drugs. 

[Kronos]

I’d have Nurgle offering free hugs, which is what he does now...is Nurgle the true God of peace? 

otherwise I’d have some Dwarf smiths quoting your Chariot/cart repair as 20 Gold, but really it’s going to cost 80 Gold because the parts needed to be ordered, and that didn’t even include Urgold VAT. So it really comes to 100 Gold. 

Back up army would be Orruks, they don’t fight or even bicker because everyones mellow and chill in the Realms now, especially the Greens that now just want a better environment for their spores. So instead they just block important trade routes in massive sit down protests, shouting Waaagh over badly tuned guitars. 

Edited December 13, 2019 by Kronos

[The_Dudemeister]

Everyone knows Sylvaneth is secretly the final boss of PeaceHammer. But don't you worry, Nighthaunt got you covered!

While our veggie friends drown the lands with miles and miles of weeds, we'd provide service as gardeners. I mean we have Reapers with scythes, Cairn Wraith with scythes, Hexwraiths, Reikenor, heck even our fair ladies Dreadscythe Harridans don't just have scythes in their names... they replaced their arms with scythes! That's the dedication and service we provide for your farms, courtyards and general gardening needs.

If there's something overgrown in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? Ghost Gardeners!

[Moldek]

31 minutes ago, Kronos said:

’d have Nurgle offering free hugs, which is what he does now...is Nurgle the true God of peace? 

I’m sure with this new age of prosperity, all their diseases are gone and they’re a bunch of smooth skinned buddhas lol.

Although I have trouble picturing the peaceful version of your chaos monstrosities...

@The_Dudemeister 

Nighaunt as gardeners work well, someone’s gotta reap that corn too! Maybe an alliance with the sylvaneth is possible after all.

[EccentricCircle]

The church of Khaine has evolved into a far more caring organisation, with a focus on charity events and sponsored sporting events. They are particularly good at getting people to donate blood, both for transfusions and the friendly neighbourhood vampires!

[RuneBrush]

Take it one step further and turn it into a battle for power.  Stalwart Duardin won't be moved even if it's to their own determent, Daughters of Khaine send out assassins in the night to eliminate certain figures of influence, the Orruks go along providing they get a regular amount of fighting from the creatures of the realms...

[Skreech Verminking]

Well I’m not sure if the skaven race would even find themself existing in such a universe.

unless of course they all have become some kind of backstabbing politicians, manipulating the masses, to ensure that their wishes will be full-filled.

Yes-yes

although I’m not sure what would happen to the rest of the skaven-race. After-all there are far too many of them.

[Moldek]

1 hour ago, Skreech Verminking said:

Well I’m not sure if the skaven race would even find themself existing in such a universe.

unless of course they all have become some kind of backstabbing politicians, manipulating the masses, to ensure that their wishes will be full-filled.

Yes-yes

although I’m not sure what would happen to the rest of the skaven-race. After-all there are far too many of them.

 

[Overread]

And lo it was that the Mortal Realms took their first steps toward a grand future! Their first mighty step toward increasing this unity is a unification of the Gods in bringing together the Realms into a single structure, a single world. Such a masterful feat was beyond any of the Gods and thus they quested deep into the darkness between the stars. 

It was there that a mighty Slaan found what was needed and brought back to the realms five vast Godbeasts beyond measure. Five great Elephants to which great leashes of light and darkness were bound to their backs and then to the realms. The Beasts would pull each realm together one by one until all were united in a single vast disk of land. The great melding was not a totally peaceful time though; the great conjunction causing huge geological instability for no matter how much they tried, the four remaining Elephants could not stand steady under the weight of the united Realms. For their feet landed in the darkness of space. 

In these chaotic times failure was approaching, the Realms threatening to tear apart once more. It was in these times that Alarielle turned her green gaze to the skies in search of hope. Finding within the inky blackness of the darkest corner a body that would stand the mighty stamping of four godbeast elephants. Within that darkness she found a shell that would never crack; that would never fall from a height that could shatter its body and lay its juicy innards open to the feasting of rot. With long coils of vines she stretched out her hand and pulled forth a great Turtle. The great beast brought forth and as the four Elephants stood upon its back the Realms did settle and quiet. 

But there was one more thing to be done and in this the Gods worked their magic together with that of the united Realms. A vast power surging forth to bind the darkness of Chaos. However it was the Durdain who aided this with a new branch of magic discovered within this united Realm. A power that united nature and technology; of the worlds natural and magical and mythical and mortal. Thus it was that mathematics worked with magic into Numerology did bind Chaos into itself. Sealing it behind the might of the number that lands between seven and nine. That number that defined the points of the star that were once Chaos. 

From that day no mage could dare even utter that number least it called out to the echos of chaos bound within that would still one day wish to lash out. 

And thus it was done and all rejoiced and the gods did entertain themselves upon a great spire in the middle of the new world. 
 

[EccentricCircle]

The Turtle moves!

[acr0ssth3p0nd]

I know this is a joke thread, but I'm genuinely enjoying this little weird bit of wholesomeness.

[EccentricCircle]

46 minutes ago, acr0ssth3p0nd said:

I know this is a joke thread, but I'm genuinely enjoying this little weird bit of wholesomeness.

I believe that's the point of Jokes!

This one is actually canon, I've always liked the idea of the nations in Shyish, where the Undead don't prey upon the living, but instead "live" side by side with them, offering council to their descendants and protecting them in times of need.

In the background I've created for my Tomb Kings army, they are actually allied with the local free cities. They learnt of a ritual to protect their land, and all the undead in it, from being controlled by Nagash. However they knew that they would be stopped the moment they tried to carry it out. Thus they secretly sent word to the local arcane college asking for their help. The Tomb Kings were mind controlled within moments of the humans entering their domain, but a freeguild army fought its way into the heart of their desert land and performed the ritual for them, all while fighting off the people they were trying to help. They were ultimately successful, and the Tomb Kings were freed from Nagash's control forevermore.

[acr0ssth3p0nd]

3 minutes ago, EccentricCircle said:

I believe that's the point of Jokes!

This one is actually canon, I've always liked the idea of the nations in Shyish, where the Undead don't prey upon the living, but instead "live" side by side with them, offering council to their descendants and protecting them in times of need.

In the background I've created for my Tomb Kings army, they are actually allied with the local free cities. They learnt of a ritual to protect their land, and all the undead in it, from being controlled by Nagash. However they knew that they would be stopped the moment they tried to carry it out. Thus they secretly sent word to the local arcane college asking for their help. The Tomb Kings were mind controlled within moments of the humans entering their domain, but a freeguild army fought its way into the heart of their desert land and performed the ritual for them, all while fighting off the people they were trying to help. They were ultimately successful, and the Tomb Kings were freed from Nagash's control forevermore.

It's stuff like this that makes me enjoy the Mortal Realms as a setting. The grimdark serves a thematic purpose to contrast the places of genuine okay-ness. The Mortal Realms feel like a place with people worth fighting for and with, even if that fight is horrifying and brutal and there is no guarantee of victory.

Edited December 13, 2019 by acr0ssth3p0nd

[Oceanic_Eyes]

Khorne is no longer a god of violence and war. He is now the god of friendly competition where the winner isn't important, it's about if everyone had a good time.

[LoopyZebra]

The followers of Khorne run blood drives with the goal of collecting "blood for the blood god". They also sign people up to be posthumous organ donors, specifically to donate "skulls for the skulls throne". 

[Moldek]

Loving all those ideas! Of course Open Play is now the main official way to play. In fact the only way to use points is to use a random points generation table for each unit.
About half the scenarios are cooperative, with goals such as restoring the dried up plains of Aqshy through irrigation (IDK and dispossessed) or reaching a constructive compromise regarding the menu of a huge feast (FeC and Sylvaneth). 1v1 scenarios include things like a friendly race (sportsmanship grants double the points) or getting the best spot to set up camp (sharing is caring!).

[Kronos]

9 hours ago, Oceanic_Eyes said:

Khorne is no longer a god of violence and war. He is now the god of friendly competition where the winner isn't important, it's about if everyone had a good time.

Participation trophies for the participation trophy throne. Well done stickers for the well done god. High five, down low, nah you’re alright.

[Overread]

20 hours ago, Oceanic_Eyes said:

Khorne is no longer a god of violence and war. He is now the god of friendly competition where the winner isn't important, it's about if everyone had a good time.

Khorne and Gorkamorka finally settled down and talked out their relationship difficulties in one of Tzeentch's relationship counselling sessions. They've rekindled their old love and embraced the joy of competition not focusing on teh winner, which had marred their relationship for millennia after they had a falling out when Gorkamorka spied Khorne eyeing up the newly created Slaanesh Prince. 

 

In other news I've heard that the Sigmar and Nagash counselling is also going well, though its bit tougher because not only did Nagash try to take over the realms, but he also hid all those Ossiarchs in the cities they built together. 

[Praecautus]

There are no dice, all gaming decisions are made by appealing to the spectators who then vote. This did of course lead to the unfortunate incident regarding transferable votes. But that was soon FAQd

[Beastmaster]

A lot of complaining about Ogres being hideously  overpowered in any cooking and eating match. 😩

[S133arcanite]

This thread is hilarious.

[#SteveJames]

Think a peace hammer is used in conjunction with nails.

[mmimzie]

Before the setting you'd have a setting of utter destruction and carnage in which khorne rains supreme and blood rains eternal from the sky's. The people realize he is feel by Thier wars and peace terms are secretly wrote up, and khorne followers are all arrested. 

The true setting could be quite neat with khorne dying to kick it off from a formal peace talk. The other 3 ruinous power growing to new levels of power. 

 

Perhaps avoiding violence at all cost to keep from a powerful resurrection of khorne, and violence is met with tails of the boogey man. 

New magic's to stim the flow of blood were developed during the build up of peace to reduce blood she'd to further weaken the got of carnage. All skulls are ordered to be magically dispersed or reformed into more mundane bones like rips, such as to stop any construction's of skull thrones. 

[EccentricCircle]

1 hour ago, mmimzie said:

Before the setting you'd have a setting of utter destruction and carnage in which khorne rains supreme and blood rains eternal from the sky's. The people realize he is feel by Thier wars and peace terms are secretly wrote up, and khorne followers are all arrested. 

The true setting could be quite neat with khorne dying to kick it off from a formal peace talk. The other 3 ruinous power growing to new levels of power. 

 

Perhaps avoiding violence at all cost to keep from a powerful resurrection of khorne, and violence is met with tails of the boogey man. 

New magic's to stim the flow of blood were developed during the build up of peace to reduce blood she'd to further weaken the got of carnage. All skulls are ordered to be magically dispersed or reformed into more mundane bones like rips, such as to stop any construction's of skull thrones. 

Can you please confirm that the skulls being reshaped happens after people are dead and not before? Otherwise I'm not sure I like the idea of this new utopia!

[mmimzie]

24 minutes ago, EccentricCircle said:

Can you please confirm that the skulls being reshaped happens after people are dead and not before? Otherwise I'm not sure I like the idea of this new utopia!

Reports are unclear at this time