Planar Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 Thought to start a fun thread about those guys/gals in our armies that constantly underperform to the point that they become a source of laughter rather than frustration. I am sure almost everyone has a model like that in their army. Lets share stories and have a laugh. My best unglorious champion has to be the Mournfang Pack Skalg and his Ironlock Pistol attack. I must have played a good 20+ games with BCR and the guy still has to wound anything with his pistol. I have promised to buy drinks for my opponents the day he 'll score his first wound . I am planning to convert him with an eyepatch or black glasses or something... Another good one is my weirdnob shaman. Now I love this model but he almost constantly underperforms and ends up scoring more wounds on my side than the opponents side. Last game against Seraphon I put him on balewind, made sure he is babysitted by 30 arrowboyz and attempted to cast Foot of Gork (now on a7+). I also took the weirdnob battalion for maximum effect. He didn't pull out the spell once on 5 turns. More so, in his 3rd attempt I could use 2 rerolls on the casting (from guessing right the dice of Cosmic Herald of the Skink Starseer). I rolled 1 and 3. Then I rerolled the 1 for a 2 and then rerolled the 3 for a 1 . Despite his uselessness, he is a great model and probably one of my best paint jobs so far, so I stubbornly keep (and will keep) fielding him every game. So, what's your useless champion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caffran101 Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 I once played through a skirmish campaign where my chaos spawn didn't roll a successful wound roll for the entire campaign! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Double Misfire Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 Great thread. My distinguished AoS ineffectual will always be Joseph Bugman, who I retired when the GHB2017 came out, but used in pretty much every game of AoS until then and will live forever in my heart. In his AoS career I think he killed a total of five enemy models, and two of those were other dwarfs. To his credit he did once successfully make a charge after deepstriking in, killing a Chaos Sorcerer Lord stood on an objective and finally redeeming himself, winning me second prize in the final tournament I took him to, but that's honestly it. Goodnight you mostly useless drunk ******. May I never field you as a Far-Ranger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 My most unglorious hero is a proud “Naughter Priest of Yawn” He earnt his name by all his actions coming to naught. He is 4 games into his journey and he has yet to successfully pray to his God, who must be sleeping. He has successfully killed himself twice, he killed one Liberator in his third game (and still failed his prayer with the bonus) before being squished. In his most recent game he failed to pray again, charge Vandus Hammerhand (who had been reduced to 1 wound by my much more effective Blood Reavers) Wiffed all his attacks and was eaten by a Dracoth in one turn. Don’t worry he has a long opportunity ahead of him to make it up to Yawn! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flemingmma Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 My chaos lord doug just cannot land hits against stuff from the death allegiance. Also he has yet to successfully complete his Deamon reaper blade attack, every time he'll succeed his hit and wound rolls only to be blocked by the armour save even with a -2 rend. I just want to do 2d6 damage doug! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Double Misfire Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 6 minutes ago, flemingmma said: My chaos lord doug just cannot land hits against stuff from the death allegiance. Also he has yet to successfully complete his Deamon reaper blade attack, every time he'll succeed his hit and wound rolls only to be blocked by the armour save even with a -2 rend. I just want to do 2d6 damage doug! Psst... Spoiler Destiny dice Spoiler Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flemingmma Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 Just now, Double Misfire said: Psst... Hide contents Destiny dice Reveal hidden contents He's a khorne lord, such tactics would be underhanded and would earn khorne's ire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Double Misfire Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 3 minutes ago, flemingmma said: He's a khorne lord, such tactics would be underhanded and would earn khorne's ire PSST... Spoiler STICK A FLESH HOUND TO HIS BASE AND CALL HIM A MIGHTY LORD OF KHORNE - SEND ONE IN THREE ENEMIES SCREAMING INTO THE REALM OF CHAOS WHILE YOU COLLECT THE SKULLS OF THE OTHER TWO THIRDS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flemingmma Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 13 minutes ago, Double Misfire said: PSST... Reveal hidden contents STICK A FLESH HOUND TO HIS BASE AND CALL HIM A MIGHTY LORD OF KHORNE - SEND ONE IN THREE ENEMIES SCREAMING INTO THE REALM OF CHAOS WHILE YOU COLLECT THE SKULLS OF THE OTHER TWO THIRDS PRAISE BE TO THE GOD OF SLAUGHTER! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tittliewinks22 Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 My Kharadron cannons have a hit rate of about 20%. 4+ my ass... On the other end, my Corpse Cart has killed many tree revenants! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richelieu Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 9 minutes ago, Tittliewinks22 said: My Kharadron cannons have a hit rate of about 20%. 4+ my ass... On the other end, my Corpse Cart has killed many tree revenants! My buddy plays Gutbusters and they're pretty much universally 4+ to hit. He rants and raves about that 4+ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mayple Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 My Arch-Warlock has a nasty habit of rolling double 1s whenever he tries to cast spells outside of do-or-die situations. He will easily pull off two maximum damage spells if he's in the crossfire, but whenever he's even remotely safe, he just whiffs all of his spells. Given his.. racial disposition, I'm not entirely convinced he's not doing it on purpose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Somanlius Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 For me it's gotta be Bel'akor, the First Daemon Prince. I take him for all my games with my mixed Chaos army (Bel'akor leading a group of Skaven, Beastmen, and Dragon Ogres) and he constantly misses in melee, wiffs on casting, and gets hit despite a 3+ ignoring rend. The only thing he does well is confusing an enemy unit for a whole battle round by his ineptmess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carnelian Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 My Lord Celestant on dracoth: whenever he plays my friends Skaven army, he teleports down and gets a few turns of warp lightning cannon in the face before promptly returning to the realm of Azyr. He has been reforged due to that cannon so many times that now when he sees the warp lightning cannoj, he loses all tactical thought/objectivity and can do nothing but charge towards the lightning cannon in a straight line as quickly as possible before promptly getting vaporized once more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaleb Daark Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 back in the world that was, I had a warriors of chaos khorne army. no wizards no nothing. In that army there was a unit of skullcrushers, in it was my lord and my BSB both on juggers, and an exalted hero on Jugger bringing the unit up to six. Playing empire with their big trousers, their cannons and two annoying garden sheds on wheel that they like to cart around. I blame the terrain - I was going uphill. They failed three charges in a row. The steeds obviously came from the khorne retirement village for three legged juggers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZephyrExia Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 When my Skaven Warlock Engineer tries to overcharge its spells, it always fails to cast, then I roll a 5 or 6 on the self damage roll, killing him instantly. I mean, I can't not supercharge right? Think of the promotions he'll get when it eventually works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ledha Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 My knight venator missed 80% of his star fated arrows, to the point that no one in my gaming group is bothered by his presence anymore. However, he make insane dice roll whenever he is in combat to the point of killing a boosted orruk megaboss that charged him in two melee phase. Talk about a failed vocation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJPT Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 Shout out to my Chaos Sorcerer Lord, who mostly just followed a Lord of Change around not doing much for three or four games in a row before getting flattened by the Celestant-Prime. We play narrative games so decided to see that course of events through to its logical conclusion, reforging him as a Lord-Castellant in my friends' army. Then, in our next game, he scored his first kill: my Lord of Change. Thanks, buddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adasi Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 great topic! At the Sheffield Slaughter last weekend i took an Aetherstrike force. First 4 games i kept my Knight Azyros in reserve to drop her where i needed her buff the most - she refused to come down in 18 out of 20 possible turns. My elation at deciding to just start her on the board in Game 5 against Karadron Overlords (whom i'd never played before) was short lived as the clown car proceeded to kill her T1... ...ah well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonlightwolf Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 My plague claw, even when it hits, wounds and doesn't get blocked by a saving throw it seems determined to give the lowest damage roll possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuitaRasmus Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 7 hours ago, ZephyrExia said: When my Skaven Warlock Engineer tries to overcharge its spells, it always fails to cast, then I roll a 5 or 6 on the self damage roll, killing him instantly. I mean, I can't not supercharge right? Think of the promotions he'll get when it eventually works. As per the Azyr app, which I would think is the newest updated version, he only takes one mortal wound on a failed overcharge. Just FYI. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S133arcanite Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 I took My gaunt summoner of Tzeentch (Fra'gor'anth) to a triumph and treachery battle at warhammer world. 3/5 games he played against beastclaw, every time getting turned into ice. Sylvaneth, killed by drycha, nighthaunt destroyed very quickly. and the only time he cast a spell was: mystic shield, on himself Just before he got smushed to a paste by some kurnoth hunters Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mayple Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 1 hour ago, GuitaRasmus said: As per the Azyr app, which I would think is the newest updated version, he only takes one mortal wound on a failed overcharge. Just FYI. Whaaaaaat!? WHAAAAT!?!??!?!? I love you. Unless you're wrong. Then you've crushed my hopes. But it does say d6wounds here: https://www.games-workshop.com/resources/PDF/AoS_Warscrolls/aos-warscroll-warlock-engineers-en.pdf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuitaRasmus Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 I know - I've been playing with the Azyr app warscrolls for quite some time, and it wasn't until a couple of days ago I got aware that the PDF warscroll says d6 wounds. I've got this hunch that I've read somewhere that the Azyr app is the one to go for, most recently updated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richelieu Posted February 2, 2018 Share Posted February 2, 2018 35 minutes ago, GuitaRasmus said: I know - I've been playing with the Azyr app warscrolls for quite some time, and it wasn't until a couple of days ago I got aware that the PDF warscroll says d6 wounds. I've got this hunch that I've read somewhere that the Azyr app is the one to go for, most recently updated. The Warscroll on the app is an old, plain white compendium one. The PDF one is illustrated and follows the design patterns of modern warscrolls. Unfortunately it would appear that the PDF one is newer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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