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About this blog

Your one stop shop for all the gossip and news from the town of Haton.

Entries in this blog

7. Sports Report

Cricket has been formally discarded and all records expunged. That was the announcement at the Extraordinary Meeting held last night, made by the Very Reverend Barnaby after the cricket pitch was once again destroyed by marauding gangs of ghouls, orruks, all manner of undead, and blue horrors. The extra cost of replacing the pitch, coupled with the expense of new floodlights (which, as reported at the previous meeting, is now a prerequisite for entry to the lucrative Twenty20 winter league) has

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6. The Sad Tale of Billy Shaw

Meet the People!   Intro music Applause Presenter enters stage right Good evening. I’m Gerry McGiver, your host, in this, the first of an exciting new series where we meet up with some of the more prominent people living in the lovely town of Hatton, we get to chat to one of the brave lads who's tireless efforts keep us all safe in our beds at night. He’s just 17 years of age, already a hero of the ranks, and a terribly nice chap to boot!, Ladies and Gentlemen, Billy Sha

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5. Haton or Hatton

The Great T War  The question of the correct spelling of the Town of Hatton has always generated great debate amongst the great Haton scholars and common folk alike. Whether the addition of an extra t is correct or incorrect was a common argument regularly heard in “The Round Table” with things coming to a head during the Great T War of 1435. This was a bloody war, with brother fighting against brother, father fighting against son, and second cousin twice removed fighting against third

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The Players

“All the world's a game, And all the men and women merely playthings” Bill Spearshake, Hatton Town’s Head Scribbler. The Players The inhabitants of Hatton Mayor Derik – being the Mayor of Hatton, a loose man, with a lingering foot. Heseltine – being the manservant of the Mayor. A fool. Archgeneral Carlton Smiles-Pomley III – being our hero. Flatulent, headgear obsessed, faller off of horse, loved by his men. Ovaltine – being Carlton’s horse. In reality, the seven headed T

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A Ghoulish Night in Hatton Lower District

Royalty descended unexpectedly last night in one of the suburbs of our dear town when a dignitary from the Royal Household of Ghouls arrived unannounced, claiming a Place of Power resided underneath one of our signposts.(!) Clearly mad, Archgeneral Carlton Smiles-Pomley III called on the Lower District Guard to aid him in ridding the locale of this abhorrence, which happily, they did. Whether or not their success was solely there’s, or was helped by some wizardry (and therefore violating By

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A busy Saturday for Hatton Town Centre.

It was a busy weekend for the Hatton Tourist Board as a record number of visitors descended on the quiet town. Visitors from all across the eight Realms came to partake of Mrs. Strawberry’s renowned lardy cakes, and the landlord of “The Round Table”, the newly refurbished and rebranded ‘Place To Be Seen Inn’, reported huge sales in his latest new ale ‘Sigmar’s Delightful’. It wasn't all good news though, as the newly laid cricket pitch was sadly vandalised by an unknown group, which, accord

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The Archgeneral of Haton's Freeguild Regiment

Carlton Smiles-Pomley III got back on his horse, Ovaltine, for the third time. Bruised, bloodied and burdened by history, he was not in the mood for an inspection, but, as his forefathers had done umpteen times before, he knew his men expected their leader to ‘check the helmets’, as this tradition had become known amongst the free folk. Falling off his horse for the fourth time, Carlton decided enough was enough, and walked her the rest of the way to the parade ground. The town of Hatton, n

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